Stress relief

So alot of folks are asking me now, "Are you getting nervous?" To be honest, not nearly as much as one would think. I'm more nervous that everything runs smoothly and that Stacey and I haven't forgotten some key thing. Even if we do forget something, I'm sure we can roll with it.

As far as other nervousness, nothing really. I know I've met the woman of my dreams, and I'm just lucky enough to be able to get to marry her. I'm sure that the wedding day will be great, and nothing will get me down.

I'm pretty pumped about the Honeymoon too. We finally were given the details of the Accomodations we have on the tour, and most of them look really awesome! There are a few... rustic ones. Which I don't think is a bad thing. When you're in the middle of the Outback, you kinda want rustic.

As far as what little stress I do have right now, Stacey and I have been doing fun stuff to mix up the running around. For example, we did a little impromptu photoshoot on our way to see Bruce and Brad Boland's band, The Jukebox Junkies, play at the Falls. Now that I've seen the shots, I really have a hankering to play around with my camera some more. I managed to take a few stunning shots of Stacey against the Niagara skyline. I have to say between the "subject matter" and the time of day, it's one of the most beautiful pictures I've been able to take.

This weekend I imagine we'll bear down and see if we can hash out some final things so that we can be on a bit of a cruise control the last 2 weeks. What needs to be done:

- Seating Plan

- Telling the limo company what our itinerary is

- Figuring out how the reception will go

- Planning with our awesome MC's about how the reception will go

- Meeting with Darrin to discuss how the Ceremony will go

Amongst other things. So a lot of small-medium stuff. I'm not too worried.. Yet.

Of Showers and Bachelor Parties

So we're into week 2 of "Silly Season", and I've got 2 Jack and Jill Showers and a Bachelor Party under my belt.

I gotta say I'm not used to receiving so many gifts and being the focus of attention by default, and not by being my normal self. I'm not sure if this will get me into trouble, but Stacey has admitted to me that she likes being the centre of attention. Which is nice, because usually when she has the attention she goes bright red, and gets really quiet. Get used to the attention, sweetheart. When you hang out with me, the attention often shifts your way. :)

Truly everyone has been very generous, and both showers that I've been to were fun times! Stacey's family shower was a smashing success. My future Mother-In-Law, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Lorie, and all the cousins did a great job! I had a lot of fun chatting with soon-to-be in-laws, and enjoying some good food. The Waterloo shower had some awesome food, and good conversation. We got some good/funny advice in the form of "postcards" from Australia at the Waterloo shower too, so those were fun to read after the fact. I'll probably share some of those later on.

One thing I'm not used to is not being able to reciprocate. There's a subtle difference in the way that my family and Stacey's family interact. In my family, everyone tries to keep things even... to absurd lengths. At Christmas when purchasing gifts, I find myself thinking about what the person I'm buying for will probably spend on me, and try my best to match what to spend on them based on that estimate. I've found that in the past if I "overspend" on a gift for someone, there may be hurt feelings. It's kinda bizarre, but that's just how our family is. Everybody wants everyone to be even.

With Stacey's family I don't see that. I've picked up on the attitude that "I'm going to give what I can, and when I'm in need, I'll get my turn to be on the receiving end", which I like. The amount of work/time/money that I've seen Stacey's family devote to gatherings such as our "Bloke and Sheilah" shower is incredible. But the attitude is almost "it'll all even out in the end", which is an attitude I can relate to.

Still, I have this tendency to want to help out and reciprocate where possible. It actually annoyed me that I was repeatedly denied helping clean up after the Waterloo shower by a certain Best Man of mine. But at the same time I can see why. Right now, people are being servants on Stacey and I's behalf. As much as I want to help out, or reciprocate, they're doing service, and who am I to prevent that? Certainly by me helping I wasn't preventing them from serving, and I still think I could've been allowed to help out a little, but I can see the point.

Add on top of that everyone lavishing us with gifts... I really feel like I need to be doing something to give back. And I'm sure that opportunity will come in the future. I just need to keep my eyes out for opportunities, and actually act on them when they come along.

I have to say that I couldn't have chosen a better Best Man, though. The Bachelor Party on Saturday was perfect. We went to the Playdium in Mississauga for the day, and enjoy some Video games, Go-Karts, Batting Cages, and about 6-8 holes of Mini-Putt before the skies opened up. Everyone had a fun time, including myself. :)

But if I'm honest, I'm more happy that everyone else had as good as time as I did. That's just who I am. If I'm doing something, i want to make sure everyone is enjoying whatever it is we're doing. Sports, games, working on something, having everyone enjoy something is where I get the most enjoyment. Paul did a good job of planning and getting everyone in on the action. My father actually was one of the last ones to leave! I enjoyed spending some time with him as well as my friends, and he seemed to enjoy the day too.

So all in all I am very blessed, a little overwhelmed, and adamant that in the future I will be able to do something to thank/reciprocate all the generosity that has been shown to Stacey and I.

Advice

Thought I'd share a bunch of the advice that has so freely been given to me with regards to my upcoming nuptials. Alot of this stuff is gold, some of it I've got no worries about, but I figured I'd amass all of it in one spot for reference in the future.

Warning, some advice that was given to me was with regards to *gasp* SEX. Read on if you dare.

General
- It's okay to spend time apart from each other and have other interests.
- Ask yourself: Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?
- If you've had a bad day, don't dump on your spouse.
- Always make a point of showing interest in your spouse's activities.
- Each time something bothers you, ask whether it's worth a fight - even if you don't think it will start one.

Communication
- Talk to each other openly, every day
- Talk about your problems rather than letting them slide, or leaving passive-aggressive notes
- Don't ever say "I don't care." Make a decision so that your spouse knows that you're involved in the decision making process
- When you're happy, let your spouse know. When you're upset, let them know. Don't ever just react - explain.
- Get used to apologizing even though you don't think you've done anything wrong -- find out why your spouse is angry and apologize for that, then really try hard not to do the same thing again
- When it comes to arguments/differences of opinion: Always think it through a bit and see how you feel after a hour or so.

Romance
- Don't forget to be romantic, even after years.
- Show appreciation for your spouse every day

House Life
- Figure out what you're going to do for chores; Talk to each other about what each person's tasks will be and divide them up as you see fair.
- If you see your spouse cleaning up, offer to help
- If your spouse offers to help with cleaning up, propose something for them to do
- Pick up after yourself

Finances
- Make sure you and your spouse are aware of all debt that will be brought into the marriage
- Make sure you and your spouse are both involved in financial decisions
- Try hard not to argue about money
- Discuss payments. Decide who is going to be responsible for paying the bills.

Sex
- Sex will probably not be very good the first time
- Take it slow
- Lube is your friend
- Extensive foreplay is your friend
- Have a sense of humour about it
- Find out ahead of time if your spouse is allergic to latex

Wedding
- Sit down and eat. It's your Wedding, you deserve to enjoy a meal.